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FUNNY WORDS OF WISDOM THAT START WITH D DRIVER

Most new dads have basically no idea how their lives will change, and that makes for some pretty hilarious words.

Thanks again, Dad, for not really killing any of the guys/girls I dated.

Life doesn't come with instructions, but it does come with a dad who always answers my calls.

Then again, no one has offered me anything yet.

Dad, thanks for saying 'yes' when Mom said 'no.'.

I'm laughing because you can't do anything about it.

I'm smiling because I have you as a dad.

It's great how we both know some things are true without even having to say it out loud - like that I'm your favorite kid.

Dad, I wish I'd inherited your ability to fall asleep anywhere anytime.

The older I get, the more my dad seems to learn.You can even use these as captions the next time you post a cute picture of you and dad together: These hilarious father and son quotes and father and daughter sayings are perfect for Father's Day cards and Father's Day gifts, but they will also get a smile any time of the year. Kids have a unique perspective on fatherhood, no matter how old they are. Nothing is funnier than people without kids telling me how tired they are.I know when my kids need money because that's when they laugh at my jokes.There's no joy quite like the happiness that comes from embracing your kids.My dad jokes are proof that I'm the funniest dad alive. Having a conversation while having children is like trying to do your taxes in an inflatable jump house.The key to being an awesome dad is aging without maturing.My daughter doesn't have any daddy issues, but I can guarantee her boyfriend will.

When they're teenagers, it's Dad's turn to pay them back. When your kids are toddlers, they'll embarrass you constantly in the grocery store, at the doctor's office, at the park, everywhere.For the first two years, being a good dad is mostly about keeping your kid from finding new and creative ways to hurt himself.Fatherhood is all about pretending neck ties are the best gifts you ever received.Being a dad is when you realize you can actually like people who puke in your car multiple times.

I don't tell them I don't actually like any of them.

My kids always ask me which one of them is my favorite.

FUNNY WORDS OF WISDOM THAT START WITH D DRIVER

Being a dad at bedtime is like being a designated driver trying to get your friends to leave the bar.Raising kids is the only job where you work 24 hours a day and it actually costs you money.Nothing sums up the dad experience quite like these funny quotes.